Tag: liberals

Posted on

Whiggy is back and the Sky is Still There!

Friends, I know its been a long time. Before I begin I must thank you all for your heartfelt messages and that search party you sent to find me. Many people were lost in that search and I will never forget their sacrifice. What? Oh no … I don’t mean they were killed. I mean they were literally lost. But come-on! Did you really think the best way to find me was a pub crawl in Glastonbury? I don’t even live there! I live on a completely different continent! I give you credit for the pub crawl idea (I’ve been known to occasionally attend a pub function or two) but at least search within 2000 miles of my last known location!

I am sure you have wondered where I have been. Friends, after watching, listening to and reading CNN, MSNBC, NBC, CBS, ABC, PBS, NPR, The New York Times, USA Today, the Douche Bsky fallingag Gazette (sorry I already mentioned The New York Times) and my local supermarket flyer, I decided that I had to protect myself and my family from disaster. These wonderful and completely unbiased organizations made it clear that the sky was falling. Now Whiggy isn’t a genius, but he can do basic math. If 14,363 out of 14,366 new organizations say the sky is falling, then the sky is obviously falling. I mean, that many people can’t be wrong!

So, I took myself, my family, the dogs, the cat, the fish, the damn bird, and our survival supplies and moved into a bunker. We cut ourselves off from all news and social media because I knew I wouldn’t be able handle watching the sky fall upon the world. It would be better to just let the world end. Eventually we would return to the ruins and try to rebuild. Well, eventually came pretty quickly. Have you ever spent months alone with your family in a single room without TV and only Hillary’s book for entertainment? At first things were great, we had fantastic conversations, we shared the Whiggy family history, we played Rummy 3 million, we ate the bird and we shared laughter when Hilllary told us “What Happened”.  Her book is hilarious (see what I did there?) the first few times you read it, but eventually it causes signs of the stigmata on anyone touching it for prolonged periods of time. Yes, things were great to begin, all stigmata aside, but then tragedy struck! We ran out of scotch and cigars! Death be damned, we had to return to the world, assess the damages, start rebuilding … and get new scotch and cigars.

When we returned to the world, we were stunned by what we found. Friends, the sky was still there! Not only was it there but it was blue and the sun was shining. We thought perhaps we had all died and gone to heaven. But, since we were still out of scotch and cigars, I knew we were not in heaven. Something was wrong.

We held a quick family meeting to plan and prioritize. While I ran out for scotch and cigars, the family moved everything up from the bunker, cleaned the house, bought food, watched the news, logged into social media, researched the past few months and put together a 45-minute Powerpoint presentation with no damn animation! I returned two days later to attend the presentation. Here are some of their findings:

 

  • The moral aristocracy warned that Trump was racist and sexist. They said he would create policies that would hurt minorities and women. But the Whiggy researchers found that the unemployment rate is below 4% for the first time since 2000. Black unemployment is at its lowest rate in recorded history as is the Latino unemployment rate. The female unemployment rate is the lowest since 2000. But … but …I thought Trump was a racist, sexist misogynistic puppy eating Hitler. Why would he make policies that would help people he hated? Surely this was an anomaly.
  • The moral aristocracy warned that Trump would ruin the US economy and, that in turn, would ruin the world economy. The US economy grew nearly 3% in Q4 and 2.3% in Q1. These numbers aren’t spectacular, but they are showing growth and are far from ruining the economy. Consumer confidence is skyrocketing. Production is up. The stock market is up. Unemployment is down and millions of jobs have been created. Oh, and the US showed the largest one-month tax surplus in history in April. I’m so confused. I guess Trump just got lucky …twice.
  • The moral aristocracy warned that Trump dropping the TPP, renegotiating NAFTA and placing tariffs on Chinese goods would cause a trade war and thus ruin the economy. Oddly, in March, the trade deficit fell slightly in March, exports were up 2% and imports were down 1.8%. Canada and Mexico have both said they feel like negotiations on NAFTA are going well. China, while in a “mine is bigger than yours” contest with the US, are not putting tariffs on anything of vital importance. In other words, they are fighting this “trade war” the way the French fight all wars … limply with bad accents. But, since we know the media and liberals are smarter than us, maybe the world-wide economic collapse caused my Trump is just delayed.

 

OK, so maybe the moral aristocracy got a couple of things wrong in terms of the economy. Or maybe the doom they foretold is just delayed. They have made ever-so-slight, barely noticeable time-line miscalculations before. Just look at the Global Climate Greenhouse Warming Change debate. According to renowned and unquestioned genius Al Gore, we should all be underwater and simultaneously on fire right now. No doubt he was right … but only off by a few thousand millennia… or maybe he was thinking of Mars. Either way, the science is settled.

“But Whiggy,” you say, “Certainly, the moral aristocracy would not make the same sort of honest mistakes about anything else.”

Oh friends … the Whiggy researchers also looked into the claims of impending nuclear war, one of the main reasons for our bunker vacation. They found the following:

  • The moral aristocracy made it clear that President Trump would cause a nuclear war by moving away from the policy of Bend-Overs and Reach-Arounds with North Korea utilized by previous administrations. According to the moral aristocracy: The North Koreans would use their huge arsenal to really really hurt our left shin; The Chinese would support their bestest little brother and send an army of samurai against us with swords made of high quality Chinese steel; Russia would ally with the Chinese (even though all Russians are really super-secret-BFFs with Trump) and launch their modern 1987 military juggernaut against us; Our allies would abandon us; and the French would surrender to Vermont. It is the fear of this great war that sent the Whiggy clan deep into our bunker. You can imagine my shock when I found out that the Koreas agreed to start the proceeding to formally end their 68-year war, Kim Jong Un released 3 American prisoners and Trump and Kim Jong Un will be meeting to discuss de-nuclearization, hot chicks and the future North Korean McDonalds franchises. There was no word on to whom the French had surrendered. When Mini-Whiggy reached out for comment, the French immediately surrendered. Mini-Whiggy is now the King of France.
  • The moral aristocracy also claimed that President Trump’s tough talk about ending the Iranian nuclear deal would instantly hand Iran a nuke and turn all our allies against us. The moment he signed the documenting removing US support from the Iran Nuclear Deal, Chuck Schumer, who never supported the deal, stated that it would make the North Korean negotiations much harder. Hours later, the North Koreans released 3 American prisoners into the custody of the Secretary of State. Imagine if it would have been easy?! In fairness, most of our allies are throwing tantrums at the moment. Perhaps the liberals and media will get this one right and they’ll go it on their own. It worked well for them during WWI and WWII … oh wait.

Ok, so, they were wrong about the economy and WWIII, but surely the sky still fell a little. I don’t want to think I cashed my retirement in for 3 tons of rice and beans for no reason at all! Mrs. Whiggy was not impressed. Luckily, she hasn’t checked hers since we returned … she doesn’t even like chickens … or goats …

  • I called my best friend. He is gay and claimed, upon the election of President Trump, that Trump would restrict his civil rights and Pence would put him into a re-education camp to cure his homosexuality. Surely those things have happened…Nope. The only thing he had to complain about was Trump banning Transsexuals from the military. “Dude, are you Trans?” I asked him. Nope. “Do you want to be in the military?” Nope. “Do you know anyone who is trans and wants to be in the military?” Nope. “How long has the military allowed the trans?” No idea. “Then why the hell do you care?” “Because Trump is homophobic.” My head hurt. I put down the phone and walked away. That was 4 hours ago. I think I can still hear him complaining.
  • The moral aristocracy foretold of Hispanics and blacks being round up and put into jails for no reason. Civil rights would be set back “hundreds of years”. So far, no such round-up has been held. In fact, the President’s approval rating from both groups have been rising at a greater rate than among all other groups.
  • The moral aristocracy stated unequivocally that the Trump campaign colluded with the Russians to tell the truth about Hillary and the DNC and to put out fake news on FB and Twitter to fool moronic Americans into voting against Hillary. They had no doubt that Trump would not last a year. He was most definitely going to be impeached and then, due to some sort of voodoo, Hillary would be named President. Apparently he is still President and Hillary is still on her comedy tour promoting her book.

 

Friends, Whiggy is confused and a little embarrassed, not to mention, I have no idea how to explain to Mrs Whiggy why we own a refurbished Hungarian tank from WWII. Not only has the sky not fallen, but things seem to be going pretty damn well. I have to go check CNN to see why things are going so well. They must be embarrassed that they got things so wrong

bunker

OH MY GOD! I JUST WATCHED 10 MINUTES OF CNN …THE SKY IS FALLING! BACK TO THE BUNKER!

Posted on

Crap! I Meant to Talk About Taxes

Friends, Whiggy has been neglectful of you all lately. For that, I am deeply sorry. I often travel for work and, between travel and a couple of projects I have been developing, I have been too swamped to write. For my liberal reader(s), work is a thing where you contribute to society and the greater economy by producing goods or services. In return for getting out of bed in the morning, getting dressed in clothes that don’t double as pajamas and producing goods and/or services while following the rules of an employer, you get a thing called a paycheck.

“But Whiggy,” my liberal reader (I’ll call her/him/it Libby) is thinking “I don’t have to get out of bed and I get to wear my hot pajamas that say ‘sexy’ on the ass all day and I still get a paycheck from the government.”

welfareOh, silly Libby. That’s not a paycheck. A paycheck is something exchanged for work. What you get is a handout from your fellow Americans. You get that because liberals need people to vote for them. By giving you money for contributing nothing to society, they have ensured that you cannot fend for yourself and, therefore, need the government to survive. In short, they have enslaved you. Go ahead, think about that for minute. (Begin calling me a racist in 10,9,8,7 …)

“I’m not a slave!” Libby the liberal screams through her Menthol Pall Malls. “Slaves do work for free. I do nothing for free money!”

Hmmm… I see what you are going for Libby. But, as with almost everything in the liberal world view, you are moronically wrong. You are a slave. The product you provide are votes and generations of new slave voters. Now, shut-up so I can get back to this blog!

Since we are talking about paychecks, I wanted to share an observation of my own paycheck. With all the talk of the new Republican tax plan, I was curious to see what I have paid in taxes thus far this year. How do I put this tactfully? Hmmm … I know! … I’m just glad I didn’t have tacos last night because I sh@t myself! Trust me, that’s the tactful version. I’m working on a theory that your own professional success can be measured in the amount of feces left in your pants after seeing your tax contributions. By that measure I have achieved a moderate amount of non-taco success.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I do not mind paying my “fair share” of taxes. The fact of the matter is that the government needs money to operate and, whether we always recognize it, the government does do a lot of good and necessary things. They do a lot of superfluous and insanely expensive and wasteful crap as well but we’ll save that for a later post. No, I don’t mind paying a fair amount of taxes. What I do mind, is when my taxes are used to pay for those who choose not to contribute to society. Notice what I said there: who choose not to. I have always been a firm believer that the government should take care of those who CANNOT take care of themselves. They should not take care of those who CHOOSE NOT to take care of themselves.

“You are treading on dangerous ground Whigman” You are thinking right about now. “Your white privilege is showing”

Let me respond with …. Wait … “Whigman”? No. You may call me Whiggy or His Holiness the Whig, but you may not call me Whigman. I’m pretty sure that’s sexist! Let me illustrate my point with a real-life story. When I was a young Whiggy, well before my wig had grayed I worked as a Parent Aide not far from the town where I was born. Part of my job, at the age of 24, was to help parents develop parenting and basic household skills. I have always been a fiscal conservative but one of my clients, oh hell let’s call her Libby too, further cemented my conservatism. Libby was my age at the time and had 5 children all under the age of 7. They had 4 different fathers. That is no a judgement of her judgement. It is simply a verifiable fact. Budgeting was one of the things I worked on with Libby. In order to do that I needed to get a full accounting of all forms of income and assistance she received.

I know this will be shocking, but she did not work.

“Now, now, Whiggy!” you are saying “Be fair! Raising 5 kids is work. You can’t work and raise 5 young kids. Don’t be mean dude!”

First, “Dude”? Really? I expect more from my readers! Whiggy or His Holiness the Whig. Don’t make me say it again. I’ll let it go this time. Second, she didn’t stay home with her children. She had several hours of free daycare a week for each of her children. I don’t remember how much, but I think it was around 25 hours a week for each child.

Back to my story. Libby, received WIC, childcare, food stamps, fuel assistance, welfare and a few other forms of assistance. That’s not to mention her boyfriend, the father of two of the children, who sold pot out of her apartment, for which she received rent assistance. Here is what truly cemented my conservatism: When I added up the value of all her assistance (I left out pot sales) she made more than the first Mrs. Whiggy and I together. We both had college degrees, a full-time job and a part-time job. We had one child at the time because had a full understanding of birth control.

Let me sum that up for you. Pay attention Libby … as I talk about Libby. The first Mrs. Whiggy and I both had college degrees and multiple jobs (all in the helping profession, incidentally). Libby had no job, unless breeding with random lowlifes counts as a job and she … MADE MORE FRICKEN MONEY THAN WE DID!!!! My first response when I discovered this was to shout WHAT THE F@CK inside my head. While I was spending four years getting an education and deeper in debt so that I could make more money for my eventual family, she spent four years getting Fu … well you get the idea.

“But Whiggy” those of you with a heart are thinking “She needs all those services so that her children can have a life and possibly break the cycle of poverty.”

To that I say … SHUT IT, HIPPIE! Do you know what she did with all those services? Let me illustrate a few examples. She used her welfare money to rent Large Screen TVs, game systems and computers from Rent-a-Center. When she couldn’t pay anymore, they would come and get the stuff. When she had money, they’d rent it right back to her. She used her food stamps for food …no let me rephrase that…she used her foodstamps for munchies and cigarettes for when she was high. She used all that time her kids were in daycare to work hard … at getting high and pregnant again. When I learned of how she used all this money I said ARE YOU F@CKING KIDDING ME. This time out-loud.

She defended herself: She had a rough childhood. Her dad went to jail when she was 13. Her mother was disabled (i.e. too fat to work). She went to a bad school. She started smoking young and couldn’t quit. And, my favorite, no one taught her about birth control.

I responded with a deeply sincere and caring response. It went something like this:” Get the hell over yourself, get off your ass, stop making excuses and get a fricken life. I was born to a 15-year-old living in foster care in the next town over. I was taken away at 3 months for failure to thrive because I lost weight since birth. I lived in 6 different families before I was 6 years old. I experienced every kind of abuse you could imagine by multiple families. Without being pushed by anyone I went to college so that my children would never experience that. I don’t want to hear any of your BS.”

I got fired.

Wait. What was my point? Crap! I meant to talk about taxes. Next time I guess.

Posted on

Hypocritical Cow-Napping and Liberal Moral Decrepitude

Friends, Whiggy has made his fair share of poor decisions. I haven’t always behaved in a way I would like my children to behave. Let me share an example: One time in college, I decided that my dorm suffered from an extreme bovine deficiency. In order to rectify the situation, I decided to liberate a cow from my university’s farm in the ag program. The liberation did not go well at first. The cow I chose, I will call her Hillary for the purposes of this story, had acow theft bit of a Theon Greyjoy moment and did not want to leave. After a long discussion of bovine rights and systemic subjugation, I convinced her to follow me up to my dorm. Back then, “see something, say something” had not yet been coined and therefore, everyone who saw something, waved and offered me adult beverages but said nothing to the authorities. Whiggy was a Poli-Sci/English major back then. Had I been a math or science major I may have realized that a full-grown cow could not fit through the singlewide door in the back of my dorm. After several attempts and a few more adult beverages, I gave up and decided that my Bovine Liberation Society would be short lived. I subtly made sure a friend of mine in the Ag program knew about the cow by running down her hall screaming “The cows are coming; the cows are coming”. It was important to me to ensure Hillary would be returned by someone more able and sober than I. I mean, I did all that work to free her and get her up the hill. I wasn’t about to return her too. Geesh, I can’t do everything!”

“Whiggy,” you are saying right about now “you are doing it again. Can you get to the point and tell us why you are telling us this story?”

Indeed, I will. But first let me tell you what I learned from this experience: absolutely nothing. Well, expect that cows are fat and don’t fit through human sized doors. I paid no consequence. I got a ton of laughs. And I was legend on campus for about a week (although that may be only in my head). But here is the thing: I knew then that what I was doing, while funny as hell, was wrong. I know now that it was wrong. If I heard a story of someone doing something similar today, I could not stand on my high horse, call PETA and excoriate that person for animal cruelty … or cownapping … or racism. I would be a hypocritical ass. See where I am going now?

Kidding aside, there are a number of morally dubious decisions I have made in my life that I would not dare to judge someone else on if they made a similar decision. Any decently honest person should feel the same. That is not so say that you cannot learn from your mistakes and try to pass that learning on to others. Rest assured, my daughters know that cows cannot fit into singlewide doors and will, most likely, not attempt to recreate my hilarious folly.

This brings me to my main point: I call the liberal elite class the Moral Aristocracy because they have taken the role of the moral majority over the past few decades. They decide what is morally acceptable based on the direction of the wind on any given day. If you do not agree with what they say, you are evil. Notice I said, “what they say” and not what they do. Liberals have long ignored the behaviors of the compatriots. Words matter – behaviors are ignored. Let’s look at a few examples, shall we?

One of my favorite examples of liberal hypocrisy is the Lion of the Senate himself, Edward ‘Ted’ Kennedy. Lest anyone forget, Teddy killed a woman. He left a party with Mary Jo Kopechne, drove his car off a bridge and swam to safety as she drown in the car. Oh wait, there is more.  He returned to his hotel and went to bed. In the morning he called his friends for advice, went back to the scene and then, 10 hours later, reported it. What deep penalty did he pay? How did the moral aristocracy judge him? He received a 2-month suspended sentence and couldn’t run for president for 10 more years. That’s it. Worse yet, he became the symbol of the Democrat party over the next few decades. He was dubbed the Lion of the Senate. Anyone who was anyone attended his funeral. He was laid to rest in Arlington Cemetery. Not bad for a remorseless killer.

William Jefferson Clinton (I wonder if his name will be protested), the 42nd President of the United States has been accused rape and sexual assault for much of his career. Like so many famous men, he has denied these claims while paying settlements to make many of them go away. Rapey McPotus, at the age of 49, had an affair in the White House with a 23-year-old intern and then perjured himself in a court of law during a what? A lawsuit for his rape of another woman. This affair included oral sex while ordering a military bombing and a deeply disturbing misuse of a cigar. His wife went on to attack his accusers. What deep penalty did this savior of the Democrat party pay? Well, if he had an actual soul, he would have been humiliated publicly for months. That was not the case. He was only the second President impeached yet not removed from office. Instead he was censured. He went on to earn hundreds of millions of dollars for speeches to donors to his foundation.

hillary-harveyPoliticians are not the only members of the left moral aristocracy to display deeply disturbing behavior while suffering little to know consequences. The Hollywood elite are the darlings of the Democrat party as well as its major benefactors. The paragons of the Hollywood left bring a whole new level of depravity. Roman Polanski raped a 13-year-old girl, made a plea bargain and then fled the country. He has since be accused of rape no less than four times. Surely Hollywood would reject him! Nope, he has since made millions directing movies. He has been nominated for several Oscars and his movies have won eight. Actors from Johnny Depp to Whoopi Goldberg have defended him. When he was named Best Director at the Oscars he got a standing ovation. Woody Allen, Hollywood resident genus, married his girlfriend’s adopted daughter with whom he was having an affair. Sounds rather “Hollywood” right? Slight problem: Soon-Yi was a teenager when they started their affair. Further, he was, no doubt a father figure to her. He was also accused of sexual assault of his girlfriend’s son. What terrible price did he pay? Since the affair came to light he has made countless movies, been nominated for eight Oscars and won one. And our newest High Hollywood Hypocrite … Harvey Weinstein: facts are still coming out on this one. This much is clear: He is a sad pathetic man who got off on masturbating in front of those who were powerless before him, all the while extoling the virtues of the liberal elite and raising millions for them. How was he judged by the moral aristocracy? He wasn’t – for thirty years! Only now will we find out if he’ll pay any penalty.

These examples shine a spotlight, not only on depraved sick men but on the complete and pervasive hypocrisy of the left. Kennedy was lauded as a liberal god. Clinton is a democrat savior and great man. Polanski and Allen are creative geniuses and paragons of liberal virtue. Weinstein was a political and industry powerbroker until it caught up with him. And now all the woman, who railed against the President publicly are seen as brave for coming forward decades later after they have made their millions and, lest we forget, after so many others were allowed to suffer at his hand. Hillary, the political relic not the cow (ummm…), is the poster child for this hypocrisy. She did everything she could to destroy the lives of her husband-of-political-convenience’s accusers. Then she said all women’s allegations must be taken seriously. Then she attacked the women who accused her husband again while accusing Donald Trump of misogyny and male-evil. Then she stood as the defender of all women while feeling entitled to all their votes. All the while, she took money from her great friend Harvey who was a well know serial-sexual harasser.

“But Whiggy, certainly the republicans have their fair share of inappropriate behaviors?”

Very true. No one is without sin. This submission is not about the sin, but about the hypocrisy. Republicans are quick to discard of members, even leaders, when similar allegations come to light. Larry Craig was caught doing some unsavory things in a men’s room – He resigned. John Ensign resigned after admitting an affair. Chris Lee send pics to a woman on Craigslist, got caught and resigned. Herman Cain stopped running for President after allegations were made of sexual harassment. Denny Hastert, that sick bastard, was instantly shunned by Republicans once it came to light that he was a pedophile. Liberals surround each other with protection and excuses when they get caught. Conservatives either quit or are forced to walk the plank.

My mother used to say that she never trusted the words of anyone. “Only their actions tell the truth” she would say. The Moral Aristocracy spends an inordinate amount of time telling us all the proper way to live and think. Their words establish their stance at the top of the moral high ground. Their actions betray something far more sinister. They protect child rapists as long as they donate to their cause. They venerate men who use power to subjugate women sexually as long as they support the progressive cause. Their silence allows women to be continually victimized so they can continue to make money, get donations and claim power. They continue to criticize the behaviors of others, all the while setting a new standard for amorality. The have descended from the moral high ground to moral decrepitude. The only sin left in the liberal world is disagreement with their party line.

Posted on

Multi-Millionaire Defecation Nuggets on their Knees

Friends, as you know, I am a huge fan of the New England Patriots. I have been a fan of the New England Patriots for as long as I can remember. I look forward to the NFL every year as I struggle through the dark days of those other sports. I find baseball as boring as watching Al Gore speak on just about anything. The NBA lost its soul in the 90’s and are represented by the biggest snowflake of all, Lebron “My skills” James. The NHL is cool but it has been put through the snowflake filter resulting in a game of fluffy flag hockey. And the MLS is … well soccer.

I wait for the NFL all year long. I read everything I can on a weekly basis during the off-season. I even watched the CFL that one time. As an example of my level of obsession, I flew to Atlanta the Friday before the Superbowl in February for the express reason to jinx the Falcons because it had worked for the previous two years. Yup, I have that much of an issue.

Sunday afternoons during the NFL season are a time to abandon my children, ignore my friends and swear at my TV. My mother taught me that screaming at the TV is an effective way of making a difference. Oh crap! I think my mom may have been the original Antifa! The only thing I think is football. The only things I protest are bad calls against my beloved Pats (all the calls against them are bad). The only hate I have in my heart if for whatever team they are playing. And the Jets. I always hate the Jets. And Roger Goodell. But that goes without saying. I don’t think about politics. I don’t want to think about politics. I don’t want my pastor to talk about politics in church and I don’t want my team to talk about politics … ever.

And then along came Colin Kaepernick and cast a shadow over my day of beauty. Let’s examine him for a moment: He would want you to believe that, as a black man, he understands the plight of the oppressed. That poor man has been to hell and back all because of his skin is black (Pretty cool rhyme there huh?). Except he hasn’t. He was raised by an upper-middle class white family in Wisconsin before moving to California. He was always a great athlete and received all the respect and accolades that go with it. 20170924_153024No, he became a radical douche only after his career started collapsing. He, no doubt, has talent and athleticism, but like so many young QBs that lose in the Superbowl, he choked thereafter. After that loss, and the loss of a hard-ass coach that made the snowflakes cry, he fell apart. Only then did he decide to stand up for criminals who were shot by police (I’ll write about that concept at some point). The spoiled little snowflake decided that the best way to help his fellow oppressed was to kneel during the anthem and insult the very country that made his success possible. Soon he was joined by others, some of whom actually had experienced oppression but seemed to forget they live in a country where they get paid millions to play a game regardless of their color.

The press had epic multiple orgasms. Everyone forgot that Kaepernick choked as a player and could not be relied upon to help his team win. They did everything possible to keep the issue alive. When Kaepernick was not picked up by another team, they openly questioned if it had to do with his political stance. That poor man was a true martyr to his cause. Rosa Parks had nothing on him. Then the new season started and the whole thing started up again. Even 8-year-olds were taking a knee. They had no idea why, but their parents wanted to feel important.

Fast forward to this week. President Trump decided to shine his bright spotlight on the issue in a way only he could. Snowflakes everywhere had orgasmic-tantrums (a new term created by Whiggy – you are welcome). For the first time in history, the liberal moral aristocracy displayed full-throated support for …. The One Percent. Yup – they truly stand for what they believe in … this week.

Side note: I must be honest, I wish the President had not said anything in this case. As one of my very close friends stated “(the issue) was trending in a positive direction”. Very few players were kneeling. Kaepernick is sitting at home. Americans were not responding well to parents having their 8-year-olds kneel. The President brought the issue back into the brightest spotlight it has seen to date. One thing I learned in my long career working with children is that they best reaction to a tantrum is to lower your voice and speak to them so quietly that they must stop to hear you. Sometimes the best way to deal with the tantrum is to simply ignore it. You’d be surprised how well both of those tactics work. The President, while correct in his words, gave them the attention they needed to continue and even expand their little snowflake fit. The toddlers are kneeling today, not because of alleged police brutality or racism, but because they want to make a stand against Trump. Sometimes you just have to let the children scream it out. They’ll get tired, grab a bo-bo and take a nap. Back to the issue.

Today I am disappointed by the game I love to watch. The NFL owners, worried about losing money, chose the wrong side and chose it fast. Guess what billionaires? More of your customers support Trump and the American Flag than your unpatriotic spoiled brats. Then the games started. First up were the Jags and the Ravens. Many of these multi-millionaire spoiled rotten little defecation-nuggets (new term, feel free to use it to your delight) knelt during our anthem but stood during the British anthem. I wonder how quickly the President can expand on the travel-ban. I am sure they can all make their millions in Europe. Then the pre-game shows started. More millionaires paid to talk about sports throwing little tantrums. Is them afwaid them’s little friends may get them’s feewings hurt?

And then the “players show of unity” began for the 1:00 games. For those teams that stood with their arms interlocked, I say bravo. 20170924_153218Thank you for making your point while still showing respect for the flag. I am not sure what point you are making, but at least you are making it respectfully. By the way, do you know what point you are making?  For those who knelt (almost half of my own beloved team), you are a disgrace. Please take your millions and leave this country. I am sure you will all be able to find jobs in other countries with those degrees “you earned”. Then you can kneel in front of anyone you want. I am sure you can make money that way. You are replaceable. There are plenty of Americans who would work harder and appreciate the opportunity to make a fortune playing a game. For the Patriots that knelt, you are not worthy to wear the name.

“But Whiggy, this is America. We have freedom of speech. They have a right to kneel.” You are saying.

I agree. They have the right to kneel. They have the right to protest all they want. I have rights as well. I have the right to point out that they are whiny little defecation-nuggets. I have the right to turn off my TV. I have the right to boycott every company that advertises on the NFL. I have the right to organize a vagina march and burn down all NFL stadiums. Oh wait. I’m not a part of the liberal moral aristocracy, I don’t get to do that last part.

Posted on

A letter to the Moral Aristocracy

Dear Moral Aristocracy,

I would like to start with a heartfelt thank you. If it were not for you, the United States may now be suffering under the imperial rule of Hillary Clinton. Thank you for ensuring that tragedy did not happen. Confused? I’ll explain. If it weren’t for your decades of telling everyone how to live, what to eat, what not to eat, what words to use, what words not to use, how to raise our children, what games our children can play, what humor is acceptable and on and on there would not have been the groundswell of anger that lead to the Trump presidency.

You started innocently enough with trying to cleanse certain words from our language that most would agree are offensive. Then you went a little farther with moronically trying to change words we’ve used for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. Freshman became first year student. Woman became womyn. Moron became liberal. You get the idea. In all your historical ignorance, you decided to call it Politically Correct. The not so subtle message being that, if anyone dared say something that did not fit your ever-changing mold, that person would be “incorrect”. I long for the innocent days when I was only incorrect. Now anyone who strays from the party line is a Nazi, evil, the antichrist or any other number of historically inaccurate comparisons.

Yocommunismu have now graduated on to full on Communist social engineering. “You are doing the same thing by calling us Communists” you are thinking together with your collective Borg-like hivemind.

I agree, with one minor exception. My depiction actually fits the historical record. Do you know from where the term “political correct” derives? Of course you don’t, MSNBC and CNN hasn’t told you yet. It comes from 1930’s Soviet Union.  People understood there were two “realities” at the time. There was what actually was happening and what the communist government wanted people to believe. Therefore, there was what was correct and what was politically correct. Sounds a lot like today. There is what happens in the world and there is what you and your media wants everyone to think is happening. Like the soviet communists, you too want to engineer a social hegemony where you set the rules for everyone’s behavior.

You were doing well for quite a while there too. You controlled congress for 40 some odd years. You developed social programs that drove people to become reliant on the government for their very survival. More people rely on the government now than at any time in our history. Not long after, you gained intellectual control of our education system. Around the same time, you gained intellectual control over the media.

Enough of us started catching on that you could no longer rely on control of congress. Your domination started to wane. Ronald Reagan showed there was a way to be successful without sucking on the teat of government. Suddenly people didn’t need the government. Your response? Full on political correctness. Perhaps you could not completely control government anymore but you could continue to manipulate how people thought and behaved through the media, Hollywood and professorial dictates. Colleges taught us politically correct from wrong and the media covered only what fit your picture of the world. You were making tremendous progress. Once again political and intellectual hegemony were in sight. Then you reached your pinnacle. Your great savior the Obamination was elected in a frenzy of blind political correctness. You and he had control of congress again. You passed the second largest piece of citizen control legislation. Now you control the very health care system that people relied on to survive. Certainly nothing could stop you. But there was a slight wrinkle that you didn’t see in all your historical ignorance.

You see, non-liberals have this annoying thing called free will. I understand that you are unfamiliar with the concept but freewill allows us to think for ourselves and make our own decisions. We get ever so slightly annoyed when you try to assimilate us into your Borg-like mindshare cult. We are big boys and girls (notice the mention of only two genders). We like thinking for ourselves. Sure, it’s a more difficult way of living than yours. Thinking can be hard. You should try it. I bet, that if your tried really hard and practiced for a few years you would like it. Like the citizens of almost every communist government in history, we fought back. Had you not ignored history, you would have seen it coming.

In the years since the Obamination’s coronation we won quite a few skirmishes. We took back the House, the Senate, most of the governor seats and the majority of state governments. The news organization that was most watched is one that is not part of your hive. The most listened to talk radio hosts have not been assimilated. Through all this you did not learn. You didn’t notice the signs because you chose only to see what you want to see.

You put everything into the 2016 election.  Certainly, we would all conform by crowning Hillary Clinton. Undoubtedly your hegemony would be established at last and would be the 1000-year Reich.  After all, you are politically correct.

But then Donald Trump happened. He represented all that you are not. No, openly opposed all that stand for. He was not only politically incorrect, but he flaunted it. He openly called out your attempts at social domination. While you still spoke of the hive he spoke of the needs and desires of the individual worker bee. While you told everyone how they should think and behave, he showed them that they could behave anyway they liked. In short, he took your social engineering playbook and bitch-slapped you with it and then lit it on fire. On November 8th Trump led us to our biggest battle victory of this war for control of the populace you started decades ago. The game had changed. The rules had changed.

And what was your response? Did you learn from your mistakes? Did you realize that you had to scale back your goal of a great American communist state? Nope. You brought doubling down to a whole new level. You threw tantrums like 2-year olds who needed their binkies. You went from the paragons of political correct behaviors to common rioting thugs. You went from trying to legislate historical revisionism to literally demolishing history. As your movement is in its death throes you have become the despots that originally defined your movement. When people won’t assimilate, intimidate.

But keep it up. The more you tantrum, the more our numbers grow. Every time one of you sheds crocodile tears, another patriot is born. Every time you destroy a piece of American history, another patriot is born. Every time you don an oh so appropriate vagina hat, another patriot is born. Every time you call for the impeachment of the President, another patriot is born. Every time you call people with whom you disagree a Nazi, another patriot is born. Every time you burn an American city because you don’t get what you want, another patriot is born.

So, go ahead, keep fighting. Just remember, there are more of us and while you have been eating your gluten-free snowflake vegan hope nuggets in your safe spaces we have been working, learning and preparing for victory.

With any DUE respect,

 

Whiggy

Posted on

Gluten-Free Rainbow Lollipop Land

I saw something yesterday that touched my heart and completely changed my mind about the airbrushing of American history. I turned on the news and watched helplessly as several TV commentators, most notably the virtuous and trustworthy Van Jones, wept in response to President Trump’s condemnation of hate by both sides and his call for unity (that horrible racist puppy killing Nazi). I too was brought to tears at this display. Granted my tears were of a mirthful and mocking nature but they were tears nonetheless. Then I had an epiphany. We can change history! Together we can undo all the wrongs wrought by our forefathers (not our foremothers, they were women and therefore could do no wrong). After all, we are to blame for events that transpired hundreds, if not thousands, of years before our birth. I know these things because the great Holy Man Alfred Charles Sharpton told me so.

My friends. My country…men…women…trans…CISs .. umm. Oh screw-it … my fellow carbon-based life elements, let us rise together and undue the crimes of our past for which we are wholly responsible! Let us not stop at a measly few confederate statues. Oh no. Like the great socialists that came before us, Stalin, Lenin, Mao and Hitler, let us destroy any vestige of what came before us that does not fit our current view of Utopia free of white men and anyone who identifies as their oppressive birth gender. I propose the following revisions and reversions:

  • All statues, monuments, parks and museums having to do with slavery must be torn down today. May I suggest we save taxpayer money and let the highly motivated millennials do the demolition? We can pay them with Fidget Spinners.
  • Arlington National Cemetery must be bulldozed. Arlington sits on land previously owned by Robert E. Lee. His house still stands there. Also, there are confederate soldiers buried there. May I suggest the land be used as the home of the cultural movement of our time: Occupy (insert the hate of the day here)?
  • The names of Washington state and the District of Columbia must be changed. Washington was a slave owner and therefore a disgrace to all that is good. May I suggest we call them Gluten-Free Rainbow Lollipop Land and Gluten-Free Rainbow Lollipop Land SS (Safe Space)?
  • The name of Pennsylvania must also be changed. William Penn was a slave owner and therefore a worthless pariah to history. May I suggest the name be changed to Clintopia?
  • All statues of, historical mentions of and major legislation (see what I did there?) signed by FDR must be forthwith eliminated. FDR ordered internment camps during World War II. May I suggest his memorial be replaced with one for the peace-loving Che Guevara?
  • Mount Rushmore will need to be renovated. May I suggest we replace the faces of Washington (slave owner), Jefferson (rapist slave owner) and Roosevelt (Indian killer) with great utopian socialists? While not American, we cannot doubt the Omnipotent State Utopias created by Stalin, Mao and Hitler were indeed places of peace and love. They understood that government knew best and could ensure that everyone was treated equally.
  • All railroads must be torn up immediately. The railroads were largely built by Chinese immigrants forced into labor, treated poorly and paid less than $15 an hour. May I suggest the railroads be replaced with bike lanes with Citybike kiosks added every half mile?
  • The state of Maine must be returned to Massachusetts and the state of Missouri must become an unorganized territory. Both were part of the Missouri Compromise, which only propagated slavery. No further suggestion here. (feel free to add your suggestion in the comments)
  • All US Cities must be immediately disbanded. It has been an undisputed fact that evil white meat and gluten eating men forced former slaves from their plantations and packed them into cities in a 200 year plan to keep them subjugated, underprivileged and poorly educated. May I suggest that each of the 45 million or so African Americans, all of whom are still victims of slavery, be given 10 acres of federal land?
  • The democrat party must be disbanded immediately. They have a history of supporting slavery and creating the KKK. May I suggest it be replaced with the ultimate goal of socialism, the Borg?

 

Wait! What the hell am I thinking? I am sorry. Please excuse my ignorance. I am missing the root of the problem. We can solve all our problems with two very simple solutions:

  • There were relatively few black people in the colonies before the slave trade. Since every single African American today is here, and an object of cultural subjugation, due to that slave trade we must reverse it. It seems only logical that all African Americans should be liberated of the “American” and returned to their glorious homelands.

Oh calm down! Don’t call me a racist. I’m not done yet. Damn it Van Jones, stop crying! You aren’t even reading this. Uh Oh, I hear peaceful protesters approaching my house. Are those flamethrowers? I said … LET ME FINISH!

  • When the original evil white colonists arrived from Europe they murdered the peaceful indigenous people, destroyed the lands and raped the native fauna. This land cannot reach its Utopian ideal unless all those of European heritage (i.e. evil white devils) are purged from the land. Therefore, logic dictates that white people of privilege (i.e all evil white devils) be returned to Europe.

Problem solved for all sides! Uh Oh, I said all sides. Here come the peaceful protesters again. Are those gluten-free hybrid chainsaws?

 

(Look to your right. See that subscribe box? Go ahead and subscribe. You know you want to. Its gluten-free!)

Posted on

The Media: The Most Dangerous Hate Group in America

I believe subtlety and nuance are vital in proper political discourse. Oh wait. No, I don’t. The most dangerous hate-group in America is the mainstream media. OH NO HE DIDN’T!!! Oh yes I did!

 

I am sorry, do you think that statement is too hyperbolic? Surely, you suggest, the KKK, White Supremacists, Alt Right, Alt Left, Antifa, BLM and anyone living in San Francisco pose a greater danger. After all they have rioted. They have burned buildings. They have destroyed property. They have sent dissenters to the hospital. They have killed civilians and police alike. How can there be doubt that they are the most dangerous hate-groups in America? Let’s explore shall we?

There can be no doubt that the above-named groups are violent and/or dangerous. A simple review of pictures and videos on social media of their behaviors during their “peaceful demonstrations” will prove that point.  However, these people represent a small fraction of the populace. Even the Million-Vagina March (That was the name of it right?) represented on a tiny portion of Americans. More important than whom they represent, these groups can only directly influence an infinitesimal number of people with whom they have direct contact. That said, their influence can be magnified beyond reasonable measure by the media. By that measure, the Alt Left, Antifa, BLM and Pelosi Supporters are more dangerous than the others because they are glorified by the media making their behavior increasingly socially acceptable.

Lest we believe concern about the media is a new thing brought on by the evil Donald Trump and his racist, sexist, baby-eating and puppy killing minions, let’s look at what a couple others have said: Thomas Jefferson said “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle”. Alexander Hamilton said “It is the Press which has corrupted our political morals. Theodore White, A journalist in the 60’s and 70’s, summed up the power of the press best when he said “the power of the press in America is a primordial one. It sets the agenda of public discussion; and this sweeping political power is unrestrained by any law. It determines what people will talk and think about …”. To sum up, the media is an unrestrained power that determines what people will talk and think about. Unrestrained. Not only are they unrestrained but they are unbalanced, I mean imbalanced. Actually, they are both. They are imbalanced because the clear majority of the mainstream media represent a single political ideology. By any measure, any poll and any research done, today’s American media leans so far left that it topples over into a cartwheel and continues going ad infinitum.  With what does this leave us? An unrestrained and untrustworthy power determining the American zeitgeist with little to no counter-balance. Can there be any question that the mainstream media is the most dangerous group in America?

But Whiggy (can you think of a better nickname?), you say, you said they were a hate group? How can you say that? They don’t march, they don’t riot and they don’t spout hateful speech. Admittedly, I will get more pushback on this point than any other. Hate is a very strong word to be sure. However, how else would you define any group that covers someone negatively 80% of the time (90% when you subtract Fox News) according to several sources, notably the Harvard Kennedy’s Shorenstein Center on Media, Politics and Public Policy? Their hate is not as vulgar as the KKK and Nazi groups proudly displaying symbols of hate and racism. Its not as blatant as the Alt Left and Pelosi minions burning buildings and publicly beating people with whom they disagree. Their hate isn’t chanted in the streets like the Black Lives Matter “What do we want? Dead Cops! When do we want it? Now.” No. Their hate is far dastardlier (cool word – spellcheck liked it more than “more dastardly”). Its ubiquitous. It pervades everything they do. Their hate is best shown in their dearth of any balanced or neutral coverage and their complete acceptance of anything the Moral Aristocracy says without any journalistic skepticism. They have presented the left’s stance as orthodoxy. You are either evil or stupid if you believe otherwise.

There can be no doubt that the mainstream media hates this President. They promote false storylines of fake crimes. They give the bully pulpit to people full of hate who call the President a liar, a Nazi, evil and stupid. The bend and edit his words to further support that picture. They glorify acts of violence as a means of expressing disagreement with him. They outright call anyone who supports him racist and evil. Said bluntly: the media has constructed a zeitgeist of hatred for a President, his supporters and anyone who disagrees with the liberal left.

 “Any dictator would admire the uniformity and obedience of the U.S. media.” – Noam Chomsky

I ask, who else is a more dangerous hate group?

 

(Remember to subscribe to this blog or you hate puppies and babies)

Posted on

I’ll be right back …gotta riot

Preamble Disclaimer:

First, I want to make perfectly clear that hate-based violence is unacceptable in any form. What happened in Charlottesville is tragic and inexcusable. With no equivocation, I condemn any group with hate at their core and/or who uses violence as a means to promote their demagoguery. My following thoughts in no way condone the violence associated with it.

(I have been inflicted with Mass Psychosis Disorder and am therefore disproportionately and nonsensically outraged! Read in a high pitched sanctimonious voice trembling in outrage, fear and grief)

Did you see the President’s hate filled and racists words? Twenty minutes before the tragic death in Charlottesville, VA our President deliberately stoked the flames of racism, sexism, homophobia, anti-Semitism and animal cruelty. Did you see his words? Let me read them to you: “We ALL must be united & condemn all that hate stands for. There is no place for this kind of violence in America. Let’s come together as one!”.  Can you believe that? How can you read that as anything but hate? And notice this tweet came out twenty minutes BEFORE the killing by his number one supporter, hidden campaign manager and secret vice-president! (I’ll be right back …. Ok I am back. I had to go burn down my neighbor’s house for daring to have a one-dollar bill in his wallet. The one-dollar bill has George Washington on it. Washington had slaves and therefore is a symbol of hatred and racism and as such needs to be completely airbrushed from history.)

Trump did not stop his detestable behavior there. Eighty minutes after the tragedy (might as well have been 80 days like Bush’s response to Katrina) he further supported hate when he said: “… But we’re closely following the terrible events unfolding in Charlottesville, Va. We condemn in the strongest possible terms this egregious display of hatred, bigotry and violence on many sides, on many sides. It’s been going on for a long time in our country. Not Donald Trump, not Barack Obama. This has been going on for a long, long time. It has no place in America. What is vital now is a swift restoration of law and order and the protection of innocent lives. No citizen should ever fear for their safety and security in our society. And no child should ever be afraid to go outside and play or be with their parents and have a good time...” (I’ll be right back …Ok I am back. I had to go burn down my other neighbor’s house. He didn’t do anything wrong but I am really upset. What else was I supposed to do?) Can you believe THAT LEVEL OF RACISM? “Violence on many sides, on may sides” Why did he say it twice? We all know two negatives make a positive. Follow me here. By saying “many sides” twice, he obviously means ONE SIDE. And we all know that the most famous “Side” is the Dark Side … the Dark Side is BLACK! GOD DAMN RACIST SONOFABITCH! And we know when he condemns “hatred, bigoty and violence” he really means “I eat babies”. See, he admitted it and no one seems to care! We have to stop this Russian spy! (I’ll be right back ….)

I gotta be honest, that felt good. Is that what it is like to be a liberal? You get to feign outrage, ignore facts and burn down your neighbors’ houses? No wonder they like it. (Disclaimer: no neighbor’s house was harmed during this blog.)

 

I do not want to pontificate too long on this but I have to make at least one point. A woman was tragically killed and the Moral Aristocracy has focused on nothing but the fact that the President did not explicitly call out white supremacists, the KKK and other racists. They do not care about Heather Heyer. They only care about propagating the hate against President Trump. Now, while I personally wish he would have named the hate groups on both sides, he still made a call for peace and unity while condemning all hate. Where was the outrage when our previous president blamed police for arresting too many African Americans as well as guns themselves for the Dallas Police shootings? Where was the outrage when that same president constantly and consistently stoked the fires of racism?  There were protests and riots across the country last night and they will, no doubt, continue for the days to come. What are these protests about? The puppets of the Moral Aristocracy are rioting because the President of the United States ccondemned hate from all sides and called for unity. Let that sink in.