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I Never Was a Good Psychologist

I am a former child psychologist. It has been years since I worked full time counseling children and their families (true story). Given the countrywide mental health issues we have been experiencing lately, I have set up a part time private practice for those most mentally ill (NOT a true story). As such, I specialize in counseling the Moral Aristocracy (in my head).

Recently I had a fascinating case worthy of publishing and maybe even a movie directed by M. Night Shyamalan. What made this case so interesting was the client’s uncanny ability to argue against herself with no recollection of her argument. I believe I have stumbled across an entirely new form of mental disorder: Liberal Reflective Dissociation Disorder.

A middle-aged woman … I mean: a being who identified as a human female who had experienced more than 40 summer solstices entered my office. I will call her Libby, Libby Moraughn, to protect her identity. Libby explained that she had been experiencing quite a bit of anger, sadness, pyromania and confusion lately. As we delved down, we pinpointed the onset of these symptoms to November 8th, 2016. She suffered devastating trauma on that day. The very fabric of her existence was torn asunder. Apparently, the news and everyone she knew told her Hillary Clinton would be president and that Donald Trump was the reincarnation of Hitler. So, naturally she panicked and fell into a ten-month delusional state. After burning a few neighborhoods down, she took off her vagina costume, quit her job at CNN and sought help.

Here are some excerpts of our therapy session:

Me: So, tell me what brings you in today?

Libby: Do you k

now that Trump refused to say that he would support anyone else if they were elected? How unamerican is that? I mean, even if you don’t like the person, you must support them. That’s the type of behavior I’d expect from Hitler!

Me: That’s what brought you in today? Sounds like you are not a Trump supporter.

Libby: Oh, hell no! He is not my president! No one I know supports him. He isn’t a valid president.

Her reality testing seemed to be a bit off. I wanted to see what life stressors she was experiencing.

Me: Let’s talk about how things are going for you right now. I see you just left your job.

Libby: Trump is a Billionaire. Although he probably isn’t. We can’t know because he won’t release his tax returns. But he is a billionaire that was given everything. You know he bought the presidency?

Me: Wait, what?

Libby: Money is ruining politics. You can’t trust anyone who spends so much money to become president. He took that money from other people so you know he owes favors to them.

Me: I thought I read that Hillary spent double what Trump spent and that Obama spent more than Trump did in 2016 on both of his elections.

Libby: That’s different. Money spent for democrats are given by good people and never have any strings attached.

We continued our discussion on several different topics. I tried to get Libby to discuss her family and her personal life. Each topic came back to politics.

Libby: I can’t believe Trump wants to investigate voter fraud. There is absolutely no evidence of any fraud so there is no need to investigate anything. I, myself, voted three times in three different towns and I didn’t see any fraud at all.

Me: How did we get on this subject? We were just discussing your pet hamster.

Libby: It makes perfect sense to me.

Me: O…K … What about the other investigations going on? What do you think of those?

Libby: They are great. Everyone knows that Trump is a Russian spy and these investigations will prove it. I find it funny that the evil Hitlerites keeps saying that the investigations are ridiculous because there is no evidence of any collusion yet. Hello! THAT’S WHY YOU DO INVESTIGATIONS!

At this point it was clear that medical marijuana would be extremely helpful in this situation. So, I excused myself, went to the bathroom, smoked a bowl and returned. When I got back into the office Libby was standing in the corner, chanting about anti-fascists and trying to light my therapy dolls on fire. After a few minutes of the soothing chant “what do we want? Dead Cops. When do we want them? Now.” She settled back into her seat and we continued.

Me: You seem upset. What happened?

Libby: While everyone else is covering the rain storm in evil Texas, CNN is still covering the real news, Charlottesville and Trump’s racist comment about all-sides being responsible for violence.

Me: Talk to me about violence and racism.

Libby: Well. What I know is that all the racists on the right are violent and full of hate. They really should all be killed.

Me: And racism?

Libby: Well. You should be willing to accept everyone regardless of their skin color, sexual orientation or gender choice. Everyone should respect each other.

Me:  Who do you respect?

Libby: Well I tell you who I don’t respect: anyone on the right! Those people are stupid and hateful and should all be punched in the face, kicked and lit on fire!

Me: That seems a little violent and disrespectful to me?

Libby: Not everyone deserves respect!

Me: But, you just said …

Libby: And how about this? How about you explain to me how punching someone you disagree with is violent? Sometimes people won’t listen and you have to get slightly extreme to get them to listen. So what if innocent people get beaten or their homes get burned down? Trump got another scoop of ice cream! People need to listen to what I have to say because I am always right and good. Good people can’t be violent. What do you think about that?

Me: I think you are bat-shit crazy! (I never was a good psychologist)

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Angry Mobs and Talking Vaginas

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about the preponderance of “peaceful protests” (read angry mobs) since Donald Trump was elected. My friend is an intelligent and well-informed woman. She said of them “They are great. They are what democracy is all about: the masses standing up for what is right and having their voices heard.” And the violence? “There really hasn’t been that much violence, but sometimes you have to crack a few eggs to make an omelet.” As a friend, I could not very well smack her in the face with a live fish. Plus, that would be violent. Could I make a fish omelet? No. I decided instead to try to educate her. I tried, first to use the words of others:

Since civil war memorials are all the rage right now, I decided to use Abraham Lincoln “There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law.” No effect. “He is from a different time.” I was told in no uncertain terms.  Apparently, the man who freed the slaves and guided us through civil war cannot fathom the problems of snowflakes melting on statues.

Ok. Time to go more modern. Bobby Kennedy, paragon of the left said “an uncontrolled or uncontrollable mob is only the voice of madness, not the voice of the people.” … and nothin’.

Ok. How about a female perspective? Ayn Rand wrote “Rights are not a matter of numbers – and there can be no such thing, in law or in morality, as actions forbidden to an individual, but permitted to a mob” Boom! Right? Nope. Apparently, Ayn Rand doesn’t count as a woman because she doesn’t represent what the average woman thinks. WHAT THE F#CK?

Ok. Now it was time to go all out historical on her liberal ass…umptions. I first explained that we are not a democracy while we do have democratic elements. We are, indeed, a representative republic. In fact, there have been relatively few pure democracies in the history of the world. To be honest I could not and cannot now think of one deserving of the name.

“But Whiggy!” You say. “What about the cradle of democracy? What about ancient Athens?”

Stop calling me Whiggy. We aren’t close enough for that yet. Ok. Ok. I will concede. The Athenian “democracy” was about as pure of a democracy as the world has known for any country and/or city-state. (Calm down small-town USA with your cute little town meetings. You’re too little and inconsequential to count.) However, Athenian “democracy” did not include all or even most residents of Athens. In fact, less than 20% of the populace could legally take part in democratic endeavors. Women had no right to vote. Foreigners had no right to vote (pssst – they had a wall).  And…. wait for it … SLAVES had no rights! Let the moral outrage begin! Time to ravage all Greek ruins! Destroy all Sororities and Fraternities. To hell with you baklava! I think the Greeks added a few other things to society as well. They must all go! But I digress.

I further explained to my dear liberal acolyte friend, the founding fathers (get over it, they were all white males) feared the mob. They understood that checks and balances needed to be in place to prevent the mob mentality of the day from prevailing on the liberties of the minority. If you have any question, read the Federalist Papers, particularly #10 by James Madison. Do you think it accidental that the citizens have no direct vote on any law? No. The framers understood that the masses were apt to let passion and the movement du jour rule their behaviors. For our nation to succeed, those things needed to be held in check and tempered. We are a country of laws NOT of the passions of men.

Even with all this, she refused to budge. “These protests are important. They stand for social justice. They are changing our history!” Now it was on!

We discussed the Occupy movement. Occupy Wall Street. Occupy Atlanta. Occupy L.A. Occupy Seattle. Occupy your mom’s basement. What the hell was it about and what did it accomplish? I was told it was about abolishing corporate greed and advocating for income equality. My retort? “Well that worked. Corporate greed is gone and everyone’s income is equal! Halleluiah and praise justifiable trespassing and vandalism.” Apparently, my sarcasm is not appreciated by everyone. She seemed to be happy that these things were now part of the social discourse. Because, no one has ever mentioned them before in all of history. “Any city, however small, is on fact divided into two, one the city of the poor, the other of the rich; these are at war with one another” – Plato. We agreed that we would move on from the Occupy Movement…

Next, I brought up the Million Vagina March at which she was present. I asked how protesting a legal election wearing a vagina on your head helped stand for social justice and how it brought about change. I was told it was giving voice to the millions of women who felt disenfranchised and victimized by Donald Trump. Now, believe me friends I struggled with my next words. Do I respond with eloquence or do I go all Whiggy on her? Seriously, was there ever a question? I explained, with a devilishly charming smirk on my face, that I had never heard the voice of a vagina expect that one time in college but, in fairness, I was drunk and I’m pretty sure the girl was a ventriloquist. As a testament to why we are friends, she laughed and did agree the hats and costumes were sophomoric. I corrected her. They were moronic. I inquired how anyone who actually voted could be disenfranchised. “It a feeling.” How were they victimized? “It’s a feeling”.  Uh Oh – feelings. I fell into the trap. I asked how she would have felt if I wore a vagina costume and a cigar costume sewn together while wearing a Hillary ’16 pin. We agreed to move on from the Million Vagina march…

We started on a conversation about the more recent protests or what I like to call … History: The Stalin Method… We agreed to move on from History: The Stalin Method.

So, what did I learn from this conversation? Nothing. What did she learn? Nothing. Why did I share? Two reasons:

  1. You’ve all had similar conversations. You are not alone. I there with you. Well, not literally but in spirit and watching through hidden cameras.
  2. Because I had to share the talking vagina story. It’s actually true. She asked for Devil Dogs and Cherry Garcia Ice Cream. I went and got it. I’m not an idiot.
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Gluten-Free Rainbow Lollipop Land

I saw something yesterday that touched my heart and completely changed my mind about the airbrushing of American history. I turned on the news and watched helplessly as several TV commentators, most notably the virtuous and trustworthy Van Jones, wept in response to President Trump’s condemnation of hate by both sides and his call for unity (that horrible racist puppy killing Nazi). I too was brought to tears at this display. Granted my tears were of a mirthful and mocking nature but they were tears nonetheless. Then I had an epiphany. We can change history! Together we can undo all the wrongs wrought by our forefathers (not our foremothers, they were women and therefore could do no wrong). After all, we are to blame for events that transpired hundreds, if not thousands, of years before our birth. I know these things because the great Holy Man Alfred Charles Sharpton told me so.

My friends. My country…men…women…trans…CISs .. umm. Oh screw-it … my fellow carbon-based life elements, let us rise together and undue the crimes of our past for which we are wholly responsible! Let us not stop at a measly few confederate statues. Oh no. Like the great socialists that came before us, Stalin, Lenin, Mao and Hitler, let us destroy any vestige of what came before us that does not fit our current view of Utopia free of white men and anyone who identifies as their oppressive birth gender. I propose the following revisions and reversions:

  • All statues, monuments, parks and museums having to do with slavery must be torn down today. May I suggest we save taxpayer money and let the highly motivated millennials do the demolition? We can pay them with Fidget Spinners.
  • Arlington National Cemetery must be bulldozed. Arlington sits on land previously owned by Robert E. Lee. His house still stands there. Also, there are confederate soldiers buried there. May I suggest the land be used as the home of the cultural movement of our time: Occupy (insert the hate of the day here)?
  • The names of Washington state and the District of Columbia must be changed. Washington was a slave owner and therefore a disgrace to all that is good. May I suggest we call them Gluten-Free Rainbow Lollipop Land and Gluten-Free Rainbow Lollipop Land SS (Safe Space)?
  • The name of Pennsylvania must also be changed. William Penn was a slave owner and therefore a worthless pariah to history. May I suggest the name be changed to Clintopia?
  • All statues of, historical mentions of and major legislation (see what I did there?) signed by FDR must be forthwith eliminated. FDR ordered internment camps during World War II. May I suggest his memorial be replaced with one for the peace-loving Che Guevara?
  • Mount Rushmore will need to be renovated. May I suggest we replace the faces of Washington (slave owner), Jefferson (rapist slave owner) and Roosevelt (Indian killer) with great utopian socialists? While not American, we cannot doubt the Omnipotent State Utopias created by Stalin, Mao and Hitler were indeed places of peace and love. They understood that government knew best and could ensure that everyone was treated equally.
  • All railroads must be torn up immediately. The railroads were largely built by Chinese immigrants forced into labor, treated poorly and paid less than $15 an hour. May I suggest the railroads be replaced with bike lanes with Citybike kiosks added every half mile?
  • The state of Maine must be returned to Massachusetts and the state of Missouri must become an unorganized territory. Both were part of the Missouri Compromise, which only propagated slavery. No further suggestion here. (feel free to add your suggestion in the comments)
  • All US Cities must be immediately disbanded. It has been an undisputed fact that evil white meat and gluten eating men forced former slaves from their plantations and packed them into cities in a 200 year plan to keep them subjugated, underprivileged and poorly educated. May I suggest that each of the 45 million or so African Americans, all of whom are still victims of slavery, be given 10 acres of federal land?
  • The democrat party must be disbanded immediately. They have a history of supporting slavery and creating the KKK. May I suggest it be replaced with the ultimate goal of socialism, the Borg?

 

Wait! What the hell am I thinking? I am sorry. Please excuse my ignorance. I am missing the root of the problem. We can solve all our problems with two very simple solutions:

  • There were relatively few black people in the colonies before the slave trade. Since every single African American today is here, and an object of cultural subjugation, due to that slave trade we must reverse it. It seems only logical that all African Americans should be liberated of the “American” and returned to their glorious homelands.

Oh calm down! Don’t call me a racist. I’m not done yet. Damn it Van Jones, stop crying! You aren’t even reading this. Uh Oh, I hear peaceful protesters approaching my house. Are those flamethrowers? I said … LET ME FINISH!

  • When the original evil white colonists arrived from Europe they murdered the peaceful indigenous people, destroyed the lands and raped the native fauna. This land cannot reach its Utopian ideal unless all those of European heritage (i.e. evil white devils) are purged from the land. Therefore, logic dictates that white people of privilege (i.e all evil white devils) be returned to Europe.

Problem solved for all sides! Uh Oh, I said all sides. Here come the peaceful protesters again. Are those gluten-free hybrid chainsaws?

 

(Look to your right. See that subscribe box? Go ahead and subscribe. You know you want to. Its gluten-free!)

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The Media: The Most Dangerous Hate Group in America

I believe subtlety and nuance are vital in proper political discourse. Oh wait. No, I don’t. The most dangerous hate-group in America is the mainstream media. OH NO HE DIDN’T!!! Oh yes I did!

 

I am sorry, do you think that statement is too hyperbolic? Surely, you suggest, the KKK, White Supremacists, Alt Right, Alt Left, Antifa, BLM and anyone living in San Francisco pose a greater danger. After all they have rioted. They have burned buildings. They have destroyed property. They have sent dissenters to the hospital. They have killed civilians and police alike. How can there be doubt that they are the most dangerous hate-groups in America? Let’s explore shall we?

There can be no doubt that the above-named groups are violent and/or dangerous. A simple review of pictures and videos on social media of their behaviors during their “peaceful demonstrations” will prove that point.  However, these people represent a small fraction of the populace. Even the Million-Vagina March (That was the name of it right?) represented on a tiny portion of Americans. More important than whom they represent, these groups can only directly influence an infinitesimal number of people with whom they have direct contact. That said, their influence can be magnified beyond reasonable measure by the media. By that measure, the Alt Left, Antifa, BLM and Pelosi Supporters are more dangerous than the others because they are glorified by the media making their behavior increasingly socially acceptable.

Lest we believe concern about the media is a new thing brought on by the evil Donald Trump and his racist, sexist, baby-eating and puppy killing minions, let’s look at what a couple others have said: Thomas Jefferson said “Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle”. Alexander Hamilton said “It is the Press which has corrupted our political morals. Theodore White, A journalist in the 60’s and 70’s, summed up the power of the press best when he said “the power of the press in America is a primordial one. It sets the agenda of public discussion; and this sweeping political power is unrestrained by any law. It determines what people will talk and think about …”. To sum up, the media is an unrestrained power that determines what people will talk and think about. Unrestrained. Not only are they unrestrained but they are unbalanced, I mean imbalanced. Actually, they are both. They are imbalanced because the clear majority of the mainstream media represent a single political ideology. By any measure, any poll and any research done, today’s American media leans so far left that it topples over into a cartwheel and continues going ad infinitum.  With what does this leave us? An unrestrained and untrustworthy power determining the American zeitgeist with little to no counter-balance. Can there be any question that the mainstream media is the most dangerous group in America?

But Whiggy (can you think of a better nickname?), you say, you said they were a hate group? How can you say that? They don’t march, they don’t riot and they don’t spout hateful speech. Admittedly, I will get more pushback on this point than any other. Hate is a very strong word to be sure. However, how else would you define any group that covers someone negatively 80% of the time (90% when you subtract Fox News) according to several sources, notably the Harvard Kennedy’s Shorenstein Center on Media, Politics and Public Policy? Their hate is not as vulgar as the KKK and Nazi groups proudly displaying symbols of hate and racism. Its not as blatant as the Alt Left and Pelosi minions burning buildings and publicly beating people with whom they disagree. Their hate isn’t chanted in the streets like the Black Lives Matter “What do we want? Dead Cops! When do we want it? Now.” No. Their hate is far dastardlier (cool word – spellcheck liked it more than “more dastardly”). Its ubiquitous. It pervades everything they do. Their hate is best shown in their dearth of any balanced or neutral coverage and their complete acceptance of anything the Moral Aristocracy says without any journalistic skepticism. They have presented the left’s stance as orthodoxy. You are either evil or stupid if you believe otherwise.

There can be no doubt that the mainstream media hates this President. They promote false storylines of fake crimes. They give the bully pulpit to people full of hate who call the President a liar, a Nazi, evil and stupid. The bend and edit his words to further support that picture. They glorify acts of violence as a means of expressing disagreement with him. They outright call anyone who supports him racist and evil. Said bluntly: the media has constructed a zeitgeist of hatred for a President, his supporters and anyone who disagrees with the liberal left.

 “Any dictator would admire the uniformity and obedience of the U.S. media.” – Noam Chomsky

I ask, who else is a more dangerous hate group?

 

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I’ll be right back …gotta riot

Preamble Disclaimer:

First, I want to make perfectly clear that hate-based violence is unacceptable in any form. What happened in Charlottesville is tragic and inexcusable. With no equivocation, I condemn any group with hate at their core and/or who uses violence as a means to promote their demagoguery. My following thoughts in no way condone the violence associated with it.

(I have been inflicted with Mass Psychosis Disorder and am therefore disproportionately and nonsensically outraged! Read in a high pitched sanctimonious voice trembling in outrage, fear and grief)

Did you see the President’s hate filled and racists words? Twenty minutes before the tragic death in Charlottesville, VA our President deliberately stoked the flames of racism, sexism, homophobia, anti-Semitism and animal cruelty. Did you see his words? Let me read them to you: “We ALL must be united & condemn all that hate stands for. There is no place for this kind of violence in America. Let’s come together as one!”.  Can you believe that? How can you read that as anything but hate? And notice this tweet came out twenty minutes BEFORE the killing by his number one supporter, hidden campaign manager and secret vice-president! (I’ll be right back …. Ok I am back. I had to go burn down my neighbor’s house for daring to have a one-dollar bill in his wallet. The one-dollar bill has George Washington on it. Washington had slaves and therefore is a symbol of hatred and racism and as such needs to be completely airbrushed from history.)

Trump did not stop his detestable behavior there. Eighty minutes after the tragedy (might as well have been 80 days like Bush’s response to Katrina) he further supported hate when he said: “… But we’re closely following the terrible events unfolding in Charlottesville, Va. We condemn in the strongest possible terms this egregious display of hatred, bigotry and violence on many sides, on many sides. It’s been going on for a long time in our country. Not Donald Trump, not Barack Obama. This has been going on for a long, long time. It has no place in America. What is vital now is a swift restoration of law and order and the protection of innocent lives. No citizen should ever fear for their safety and security in our society. And no child should ever be afraid to go outside and play or be with their parents and have a good time...” (I’ll be right back …Ok I am back. I had to go burn down my other neighbor’s house. He didn’t do anything wrong but I am really upset. What else was I supposed to do?) Can you believe THAT LEVEL OF RACISM? “Violence on many sides, on may sides” Why did he say it twice? We all know two negatives make a positive. Follow me here. By saying “many sides” twice, he obviously means ONE SIDE. And we all know that the most famous “Side” is the Dark Side … the Dark Side is BLACK! GOD DAMN RACIST SONOFABITCH! And we know when he condemns “hatred, bigoty and violence” he really means “I eat babies”. See, he admitted it and no one seems to care! We have to stop this Russian spy! (I’ll be right back ….)

I gotta be honest, that felt good. Is that what it is like to be a liberal? You get to feign outrage, ignore facts and burn down your neighbors’ houses? No wonder they like it. (Disclaimer: no neighbor’s house was harmed during this blog.)

 

I do not want to pontificate too long on this but I have to make at least one point. A woman was tragically killed and the Moral Aristocracy has focused on nothing but the fact that the President did not explicitly call out white supremacists, the KKK and other racists. They do not care about Heather Heyer. They only care about propagating the hate against President Trump. Now, while I personally wish he would have named the hate groups on both sides, he still made a call for peace and unity while condemning all hate. Where was the outrage when our previous president blamed police for arresting too many African Americans as well as guns themselves for the Dallas Police shootings? Where was the outrage when that same president constantly and consistently stoked the fires of racism?  There were protests and riots across the country last night and they will, no doubt, continue for the days to come. What are these protests about? The puppets of the Moral Aristocracy are rioting because the President of the United States ccondemned hate from all sides and called for unity. Let that sink in.

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And the revolution begins

Revolution. Revolution is the only word with which I can begin this endeavor for, make no mistake, we are in the midst of a second American revolution.

Surely this is unlike any revolution the world has seen before. This is not a group of citizens wanting to overthrow a government in order to gain more freedom or avoid unwanted taxation or draconian laws. This is not a revolution of citizens versus their government. This revolution delves so much deeper. This is a war for the very soul of America. It is a war of patriots versus the self-styled moral aristocracy. It is a war of those who believe in self-determination, free will and pe

 

rsonal responsibility versus those who would have heteronomous obedience to political correctness. In short, this is a war of those who believe in the ideals this great country was built upon versus those who desire a moral

dictatorship where all words, beliefs and actions have been predetermined by an aristocratic class of moralists.

Like the liberal dictatorships they strive to emulate, the moral aristocracy, represented by the liberal left, largely controls the media. There is no shortage of media outlets proselytizing their politically correct zealotry. Only through the few true journalistic outlets left, talk radio, social media and blogs can we dream to stop the that zealotry from being the zeitgeist of our time. Since the election of Donald Trump, the moral aristocracy has become unhinged. One cannot watch, read, or listen to the news in the current climate without questioning the voracity of every word. The days of journalistic neutrality are long gone. Hell, the days of journalists pretending to be neutral are gone. The media has but one goal now: to destroy the budding revolution, personified by President Trump, and return to the imperialism of political correctness.

It is with all this in mind that I start this blog. For too long I have sat on the sidelines watching the slow degradation of our society. Oh sure, I complained to friends and family and made the occasional wise-ass social media post. However, that is no longer enough. It’s time to dig deeper. It time to call the moral aristocracy out on their hypocrisy. It is time to illuminate their attempts at cultural imperialism. It’s time to end the reign of the politically correct moral aristocracy.

Lest you believe my parents were nomads who wanted to name their child after their way of life, I must confess my name is not Wandering. Nor is my surname Whig. For reasons of occupational prudence, I have decided to use a penname that represents, in some small part, who I am: a PC assassin wandering the world in search of political sanity. Plus, it sounds cool.

I will, however, tell you a little about my real self. I am married with three children. I hold two graduate degrees in psychology.  I live in a purple state in a very blue region of the country. I was a ward of the state for a large part of my childhood and grew up in six different families including biological, foster and adoptive homes. I experienced abuse I would not wish upon my worst enemy. I stood victim to countless well-meaning bureaucrats following policies that damn near destroyed me. With all that I spent the first 20 years of my career working with disadvantaged and disabled children and their families.  These things have informed my political leanings deeply. To add a little more flavor that you will, no doubt, come to learn, I am a self-assured wise-ass who loves to laugh and make others laugh and (only occasionally) loves to verbally disembowel those of the moral aristocracy.

Stay tuned …the fun has just begun.