Mini-Whiggy came home yesterday with a question:
“Dada, what is daka, or deca or dacow?” he queried.
I smiled at his innocence, patted him on the head and started to explain.
“Well, Mini-Whiggy Dachau was a place during World War II where Hitler sent people to be killed because he was an evil man. But you mean DACA. Although, lots of crazy people want to pretend they are the same thing.”
“You mean liberals?” he asked. God, I love that kid!
“Yes buddy, liberals. DACA is kinda hard to explain though. I am not sure you’ll understand.”
“Dada, I am pretty smart. I taught you and Mama how to use Minecraft.”
“Good point. Ok. So, you know that our government has three parts that we call branches. They each have their own chores. The Legislative Branch is made up of the House and the Senate. Their chore is to make laws. The Executive Branch is made up of the President, the Vice President and a bunch of people who work for the President. Their chore is to carryout laws. They make up the rules for how to make people follow the laws. Then there is the Judicial branch. It is made up of the Supreme Court and a bunch of other judges. Their chore is to interpret laws and …”
“Ummm. I know all this already. Remember you used to read me the constitution every night when I was three?” he interrupted.
“I am sorry Buddy,” I apologized, “Sometimes I forget that, even though you are only seven, you are smarter than a lot of people”
“You mean liberals?”
“Yes buddy. So, back to DACA. A long time ago Congress passed laws about how people are allowed to move to the United States. They made a bunch of rules that people had to follow. If they followed those rules, they could come to the United States and someday become Americans.” I explained. “Then, our last President …”
“You mean Obama?”
“Yes …” I replied.
“Remember that time when people said he could be President again and you cried, and drank lots of your adult juice and told me all about how some people could fit their heads in their butts? That was funny.” He added giggling.
“Yes. Yes, I do remember that. But let me explain more” I said, “So, Obama decided that he didn’t like parts of the law. Then he told the people who work for him to make new rules that would ignore part of the law for a little while.”
“Why did he do that Dada?” He asked.
“Well, for a few reasons.” I began to explain “First, Obama liked to make everything about what color people were because it helped him get lots of votes. It also got lots of people who think like him lots of votes too.”
“You mean puppets?” Damn, this kid is awesome!
“Yes. But they like to call themselves Democrats or even Progressives…”
“You mean like Flo on TV? She is funny.”
“No. That’s a different Progressive. So anyway, there was an election coming and Obama wanted to help more people who think like him get elected. By ignoring parts of the law, he thought he could make lots of people happy and they would vote for his friends. Second, even though he pretended to be a teacher of the Constitution, didn’t really understand it. He thought the President was a king and could do whatever he wanted. Third, Obama hated America the way it was. He wanted to make a new America.”
“What kind of America did he want?” He asked with rapt attention.
“Oh buddy,” I explained with the care and compassion only a dad can know, “You are not old enough for that part of the story. It is very scary and you need to be able to sleep tonight.”
“OK, Dada.” He conceded “So why is everyone so mad now about DACA. Teacher was crying in school.”
“Well Mini-Whiggy, yesterday President Trump …”
“Remember when people made him president and you laughed and laughed so hard that you peed? That was funny and gross.” He reminded me.
“Yes, it was.” I started my explanation again. “Yesterday President Trump told the people who worked for him that they have to follow the law. Because some people don’t like the law, he gave Congress six months to make a new law if they want to.”
“Wow!” He exclaimed “Six months is a long time. In six months, I will be 8 years-old and the Patriots will have another Superbowl Trophy.”
“That’s very true! But, Congress spends so much time stealing money from people and calling the President names that getting anything done in six months may be impossible.”
“So” He began to summarize, “Congress made a law that people are supposed to listen to. President Obama didn’t like the law so he ignored parts of it. Then President Trump told people they have to follow the law or make a new one. Now lots of people are mad that they have to follow a law that they were supposed to follow anyway?”
“Yup.” I agreed. See the seven year old gets it!
“That’s stupid.” He stated plainly with the wisdom of Socrates.
“Yes, it is Little Man. Yes, it is.”
“Dada, I have one more question. Why are you calling me Mini-Whiggy?”
“Because this is a blog. Its not a real conversation. It’s make believe.”
“Oh” he said, “Like liberal tolerance?”
“Yes buddy. Exactly like liberal tolerance.” I have the greatest kid in the world.
Nailed it